I have cried since I left him almost three moths ago. But last night for the first time I didn’t cry out of misery and pain. I cried for it. I cried for all that is lost. I cried for all that I experienced. I cried for dreams that I let go of. I cried for leaving the place I called home. Not so much pain as loss. A cleansing cry. No guilt, no shame over not being able to make my marriage work. I cried for the past I cried for the future. I know in my heart that I did the right thing. So this cry was a healing cry. True emotions not absent of pain but filled with hope.
I woke up this morning in better spirits. As I did my yoga this morning I felt more stable than I have in a year. I felt centered and grounded. My mind was clear. My physical pain is lighter today too. My joints are less inflamed. Yesterday was a two pain pill day. Today will be better. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but I will deal with it when it gets here. I am going to try not to look back or look a head. I am determined to stay in today. Find every good moment that I can. If I can’t find a good moment then maybe I’ll make one. Have a blessed day.