No Small Healing

Hope: a feeling of expectation and desire for something to happen
aspiration, wish, goal

Faith: complete trust or confidence in someone or something
strong belief in god or spiritual doctrine

What do these words mean to me? These words saved my life. I know this is a strong statement. I believe it is the truth for me. I’m not talking about magical thinking. I’m not talking about religion. I’m talking about strength, and the desire to not just exist but to live. To take some control of my mind and heart.

I no longer wanted to be other people’s punching bag. I no longer wanted to live my life based on the judgments and narrow-minded expectations of others. I needed to feel whole, validated. I needed to accept my own truth and experience. I could no longer look to others for acceptance and happiness. I needed to find these thing in my own mind and soul.

A long time ago someone said to me you can’t judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree. I understood fundamentally that fish were not made to climb trees. I know that fish are made to swim. But I had a hard time applying that knowledge to my own life. See, I had been told my whole life that I wasn’t good enough because I was flawed in some way or another. Because I didn’t try hard enough. I was compared to those around me and I couldn’t measure up. I felt constantly like I had failed at being human.

I now understand that the only thing I was failing at was trying to be something other than what I am. I was trying to be something that others wanted. Because I had a deep need to be wanted. To feel loved and be accepted. We all have these needs. They are a normal part of being human. What I didn’t know was that if I could not accept who I was I would always be that fish failing at climbing the tree. I was living against my own nature.

The Line

By, TJP

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Reach Out

There are those who grow up with others by their side

Family, friends those who live their story with them

Who know them inside and out

People they can always turn to for support, comfort or to share laughter and joy

What about those who have no one

For what ever reason faced life alone

Fast friends come and go

Trusting only themselves

No one to call in good times or bad

To take their hand

Those who sit alone with their longing to connect with another

Lacking the faith to allow another to touch their heart

Can the loneliness be cured

By, TJP

 

 

An Inspired Woman

Her strength inspires me

The woman I could never be

Faith weaved though a hard-fought life

Tears were swallowed not curdled by strife

A smile worn with a heavy heart

Though she was torn apart

She stayed and grew, in the end

It was her freedom she would win

Her family grown

Her life her own

She would finally reap, all she has sewn

For what she’s given was her best

I hope she leaves with no regrets

Though this woman, I could never be

Her love and strength are her legacy

I’m so grateful for her time with me

By, TJP