No Small Healing

Hope: a feeling of expectation and desire for something to happen
aspiration, wish, goal

Faith: complete trust or confidence in someone or something
strong belief in god or spiritual doctrine

What do these words mean to me? These words saved my life. I know this is a strong statement. I believe it is the truth for me. I’m not talking about magical thinking. I’m not talking about religion. I’m talking about strength, and the desire to not just exist but to live. To take some control of my mind and heart.

I no longer wanted to be other people’s punching bag. I no longer wanted to live my life based on the judgments and narrow-minded expectations of others. I needed to feel whole, validated. I needed to accept my own truth and experience. I could no longer look to others for acceptance and happiness. I needed to find these thing in my own mind and soul.

A long time ago someone said to me you can’t judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree. I understood fundamentally that fish were not made to climb trees. I know that fish are made to swim. But I had a hard time applying that knowledge to my own life. See, I had been told my whole life that I wasn’t good enough because I was flawed in some way or another. Because I didn’t try hard enough. I was compared to those around me and I couldn’t measure up. I felt constantly like I had failed at being human.

I now understand that the only thing I was failing at was trying to be something other than what I am. I was trying to be something that others wanted. Because I had a deep need to be wanted. To feel loved and be accepted. We all have these needs. They are a normal part of being human. What I didn’t know was that if I could not accept who I was I would always be that fish failing at climbing the tree. I was living against my own nature.

The Line



Looking In


On the outside looking in

This is where her life begins

Wanting what she sees inside

It’s not the things, though they are nice

Not even warmth from the night

The yellow glow from the window spreads

Good feelings for the life ahead

Those who dwell inside you see

Live a life of harmony

There is no anger in those walls

No need to hide when darkness falls

As the night turns into day

Those inside begin to play

She says a prayer down deep inside

That this, their home, she may reside

Forgive her when she stops to stare

For in your window the hearts laid bare

Never has she hoped to be

A part of a home where love is free


Working Man

Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire

Sang in meadows

Dancing on air

Even in the poring rain

Dreams of love

Sweep you away

Stories of bright shining days

Fill you with hope

Of love that will stay

The life of a working man

Could it ever be so grand

Picnic’s on a white sand beach

Seem so far out of reach

Yet your dream so warm and true

May it some day come to you…



Finding Joy


Can you be happy

Right where you are

With out a new house

Or shiny new car

Can you find joy

On the darkest of days

Or does it take things

To fill up that space

Talk to yourself

Honest and true

Would you have troubles

Would you be blue

If you could just stop

See where you are

Look at the trees

Study the stars

A smile or tear

Both natural states

Yet you can find peace

Standing in place

For I’m telling you

On the coldest of days

A smile from a friend

Can light a new way



Forever Friends

Would it be too easy

Fall into your arms

Would we not regret

Weary of our charms

Conscious of the pain

Others must not be harmed

Now I know I love you

I must hold my peace

Allowing life to settle

I slay the inner beast

When it is your ready

Which ever way you choose

Just know that in our hearts

We don’t have to lose








Happiness isn’t a given. It is something that must be sought out and groomed. Loved and fed to be maintained. Just like any other feeling, emotion or state of being. Anger, love, fear, peace these all must be maintained. You must nurture it and even then it will leave you and you must seek it out again. You will find it. Nothing ever stays the same. When you find happiness again you will again have to nurture and feed it in order to keep it even for a short time. It is not something that can be given to you, yet you must accept it. It must be a feeling that you want and in order to keep it you must share it but it can not be given to another. They must find and accept their own.

Work hard to find your happiness and when you accept it don’t forget to care for it. When you have it you must share it with another.