No Small Healing

Hope: a feeling of expectation and desire for something to happen
aspiration, wish, goal

Faith: complete trust or confidence in someone or something
strong belief in god or spiritual doctrine

What do these words mean to me? These words saved my life. I know this is a strong statement. I believe it is the truth for me. I’m not talking about magical thinking. I’m not talking about religion. I’m talking about strength, and the desire to not just exist but to live. To take some control of my mind and heart.

I no longer wanted to be other people’s punching bag. I no longer wanted to live my life based on the judgments and narrow-minded expectations of others. I needed to feel whole, validated. I needed to accept my own truth and experience. I could no longer look to others for acceptance and happiness. I needed to find these thing in my own mind and soul.

A long time ago someone said to me you can’t judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree. I understood fundamentally that fish were not made to climb trees. I know that fish are made to swim. But I had a hard time applying that knowledge to my own life. See, I had been told my whole life that I wasn’t good enough because I was flawed in some way or another. Because I didn’t try hard enough. I was compared to those around me and I couldn’t measure up. I felt constantly like I had failed at being human.

I now understand that the only thing I was failing at was trying to be something other than what I am. I was trying to be something that others wanted. Because I had a deep need to be wanted. To feel loved and be accepted. We all have these needs. They are a normal part of being human. What I didn’t know was that if I could not accept who I was I would always be that fish failing at climbing the tree. I was living against my own nature.

The Line

By, TJP

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Looking In

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On the outside looking in

This is where her life begins

Wanting what she sees inside

It’s not the things, though they are nice

Not even warmth from the night

The yellow glow from the window spreads

Good feelings for the life ahead

Those who dwell inside you see

Live a life of harmony

There is no anger in those walls

No need to hide when darkness falls

As the night turns into day

Those inside begin to play

She says a prayer down deep inside

That this, their home, she may reside

Forgive her when she stops to stare

For in your window the hearts laid bare

Never has she hoped to be

A part of a home where love is free

By, TJP

An Inspired Woman

Her strength inspires me

The woman I could never be

Faith weaved though a hard-fought life

Tears were swallowed not curdled by strife

A smile worn with a heavy heart

Though she was torn apart

She stayed and grew, in the end

It was her freedom she would win

Her family grown

Her life her own

She would finally reap, all she has sewn

For what she’s given was her best

I hope she leaves with no regrets

Though this woman, I could never be

Her love and strength are her legacy

I’m so grateful for her time with me

By, TJP

 

 

 

 

Propriety

Propriety has its place

Do you have her take your name,

that you may save her grace

Your reasons must be deeper,

than to just avoid disgrace

A promise need not be written,

to be honored or erased

*

Do you think you will still love her

As the ink that has recorded your love fades

Will you still hold her

When the paper that your commitment is registered on turns gray

Will your passion for your time together continue

After the signatures of declaration can no longer be read

Will you still kiss her

When the witnesses have all fled

*

She wants nothing from you,

other than your say

And she will stand beside you,

no matter how dark the day

Her hope that you will be the one,

the light to show the way

For her choice to love again,

she will never have to pay

By, TJP