Reaching for my wedding band

I find myself reaching for the rings I’ve worn for more than three years. I took them off about a month ago. It is not so much sadness that makes me reach for them as habit. I am a little home sick not for my husband but for the dreams that came with the marriage. With my marriage to him came hope of never having to handle life alone again. I thought that I had found the rest of my life. I want that feeling back. The one that says I will never have to suffer alone. That dream wasn’t fulfilled. That is not the way things turned out. I think I morn the dream more than my lost marriage. It is a great honor to have someone to share the good and bad with. I wish that I had been able to find that in my husband. It’s not so much of a hole in my heart as a longing to be so connected to someone who I share a life with. That is what I had hoped my marriage would be. A bond for life, a friend in all times. A person to dream and scheme with. I don’t know if I will ever find  such a person but I am determined not to give up hope.