It has taken a lot of work and a lot of contemplation to get to where I am right now. I know that moments of peace and acceptance are broken by moments of self-doubt and fear. I have come to a point where I can choose not to live in the fear. It is hard to be afraid and do it anyways. It’s not quite like that now. I don’t feel like I am forcing myself to act. It feels like I have accepted that I will be afraid. I am okay with the fear and doing what I’m afraid of. I have spent a very large part of my life trying to prevent pain, fear, and bad things from happening. These things have all happened no matter how hard I have tried to stop them. I am no longer going to try to stop any bad things. I am going to live. I am going to explore and feel. It is okay to be happy in the face of pain and loss.