No Small Healing

Hope: a feeling of expectation and desire for something to happen
aspiration, wish, goal

Faith: complete trust or confidence in someone or something
strong belief in god or spiritual doctrine

What do these words mean to me? These words saved my life. I know this is a strong statement. I believe it is the truth for me. I’m not talking about magical thinking. I’m not talking about religion. I’m talking about strength, and the desire to not just exist but to live. To take some control of my mind and heart.

I no longer wanted to be other people’s punching bag. I no longer wanted to live my life based on the judgments and narrow-minded expectations of others. I needed to feel whole, validated. I needed to accept my own truth and experience. I could no longer look to others for acceptance and happiness. I needed to find these thing in my own mind and soul.

A long time ago someone said to me you can’t judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree. I understood fundamentally that fish were not made to climb trees. I know that fish are made to swim. But I had a hard time applying that knowledge to my own life. See, I had been told my whole life that I wasn’t good enough because I was flawed in some way or another. Because I didn’t try hard enough. I was compared to those around me and I couldn’t measure up. I felt constantly like I had failed at being human.

I now understand that the only thing I was failing at was trying to be something other than what I am. I was trying to be something that others wanted. Because I had a deep need to be wanted. To feel loved and be accepted. We all have these needs. They are a normal part of being human. What I didn’t know was that if I could not accept who I was I would always be that fish failing at climbing the tree. I was living against my own nature.

The Line

By, TJP

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Thank you for the compliment.

It is not about my ego when you give me a compliment and I don’t respond the way you hoped I would. 

It is not about my self esteem when you say I am nice things and pretty words that I don’t accept. 

It does not mean I don’t believe these things about myself. 

It means I don’t believe you know me well enough to make these statements. 

It means I don’t trust your sincerity. 

It means that I think you have other motives for your words than expressing to me your view of me. 

I appreciate a nice compliment. They can brighten a dark day. 

If you are disappointed by my response then it is your motives that need to be examined. 

Your ego that needs to be checked. 

Your self esteem that needs to be looked at.

By, TJP

View Of Fear

I wrote Not Always The Victim three months ago. I didn’t publish it publicly because I am ashamed of the way I feel. I don’t want to see myself as a victim. I want to see myself as strong, independent and just like everyone else. I don’t want to admit that I am afraid. I don’t want others to see me in this light either. Yet this is how I feel. Since writing this I have worked hard to make a safe place for healing and growth. I feel I have been mostly successful. Yet I still struggle with my insecurities.

I share this link Not Always The Victim now  because I believe that voicing my fear will help me heal. I hope that it may help others give voice to their own pain and fears. I know now that we all have the right to feel safe. To feel like we belong. I believe that loving and being loved is the only way out of this circle thinking. The problem is finding the strength to reach out.

May we all find a safe place to heal.

 

By, TJP

What I Have Learned

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With acceptance we learn to be flexible

Trust is a gift you give to others

Love must be freely given without an expectation of it being returned

Forgiveness is the key to setting yourself free

Compassion is how we show our love, a way to look outside of self

Passion give us courage and self-esteem

Truth and honesty open our hearts and clears our soul

Knowledge must be freely shared but can’t always be learned

I pray that we all look up from our feet

 

By, TJP

 

 

3 Days 3 Quotes Day 2

3-days-3-quotes1

3 DAYS 3 QUOTES CHALLENGE

This post is for two challenges, read on…

 

Thanks to fauxcroft for nominating me to participate in the “3 Day 3 Quote Challenge.” 

Rules of the challenge:

1.Three quotes for three days.

2.Three nominees each day (no repetition).

3.Thank the person who nominated you.

4.Inform the nominees.

Day 1 Nominees: I highly recommend you check them out, they are very inspirational and interesting to read.

1. Poetpas

2. Words For Live

3. J. Cosby

 

Day 2 Quotes

If the track is tough and the hill is rough, THINKING you can just ain’t enough!

-Shel Silverstein

Tell me I’m clever, Tell me I’m kind, Tell me I’m talented, Tell me I’m cute, Tell me I’m sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I’m perfect – But tell me the truth.

-Shel Silverstein

“There is a voice inside of you, that whispers all day long, I feel this is right for me, I know that this is wrong.”

-Shel Silverstein

 

 

3 Days 3 Quotes Challenge Day 1

3-days-3-quotes1

3 DAYS 3 QUOTES CHALLENGE

This post is for two challenges, read on…

 

Thanks to fauxcroft for nominating me to participate in the “3 Day 3 Quote Challenge.” 

Rules of the challenge:

1.Three quotes for three days.

2.Three nominees each day (no repetition).

3.Thank the person who nominated you.

4.Inform the nominees.

Day 1 Nominees: I highly recommend you check them out, they are very inspirational and interesting to read.

1. Metamorphosis

2. TheOneEyedAngel

3. JohnCoyote

 

Day 1 Quotes

“Books are a uniquely portable magic.”
― Stephen King

 

“Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.”
― Stephen King

 

“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear.”
― Stephen King