Suffocating Love

His love covered me

Heavy blankets of wet wool

Weighing me down 

Suffocating darkness surrounded 

I picked away at those heavy fibers 

One strand at a time

Tiny holes appeared 

Helped me see the light

Giving me hope to fight

Easing the burden 

Able to reach out

Others I could finally see

Already they were reaching for me

With their love

From the blankets of shame

I was set free
By, TJP 

Ambiguous 

A smile doesn’t always reflect how I feel

Tears don’t always mean I’m sad

Anger hides my fear

Laughter masks my pain

Pride covers shame

To you it seems a game

For me it’s all the same

I am able to feel

Not broken or bent

Neither twisted or spent

No need to vent

Accepting my shield 

My heart is filled

My emotions are mine

Not for you to define 

By, TJP 

Wavering Resolve 

This is how I wanted it

Exactly what I said

Am I but a coward 

Dreams running through my head

Keep your heart away from me

Just don’t you go to far

I want you to be close to me

Not so close, you see the scars

I want to share me with you

But only just so much

I can not tell you everything 

Only that I want your touch

This is what I wanted

Exactly how I said

When I close my eyes at night

Wishes, fill me with dread

By, TJP 

Maybe Not

He left her

All those years ago

Again found un-loveable

Lacking

He, unwilling to wait for the miracle 

The transformation of growth

Her, too young and drunk to understand 

She pushed him away

Her behavior perpetuated 

The belief stood

Both blinded 

Deep seeded needs and desires 

Afraid to let go of their self

To fully reach for eachother 

Had one, 

One thought of the other

They may have discovered 

Or maybe not

By, TJP

Thank you for the compliment.

It is not about my ego when you give me a compliment and I don’t respond the way you hoped I would. 

It is not about my self esteem when you say I am nice things and pretty words that I don’t accept. 

It does not mean I don’t believe these things about myself. 

It means I don’t believe you know me well enough to make these statements. 

It means I don’t trust your sincerity. 

It means that I think you have other motives for your words than expressing to me your view of me. 

I appreciate a nice compliment. They can brighten a dark day. 

If you are disappointed by my response then it is your motives that need to be examined. 

Your ego that needs to be checked. 

Your self esteem that needs to be looked at.

By, TJP