Some days it is so hard to put aside the memories. They haunt me, take my attention. It is difficult to hold onto the present. I try to stay in the moment and not let myself be carried away by the wave of emotion that these memories bring. No one is hurting me now and I have even found gentle hands and kind words. Most days these prevail and can push away the darkness. Other times I wait for the next blow be it verbal or physical. I hate to live with so much fear. I have trust I don’t have to fight to see the best in others wile this is a great asset it can also be dangerous. I am afraid I become blind to what I don’t want to see. Yet I don’t want to live in these memories terrified and closed. My greatest desire is to be truly loved

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