My Selfish Ways

You say there is no need
To follow you around
A gift that you don’t need
Will only bring a frown

I try to listen to your want
A thought 
Or just a wish
Not just because I want to please
But out of selfishness

I want to see you smile
The one thats just for me
I love to hear your laughter
Spontaneous and free
To feel your arms around me
Is what I truly seek

You say that I don’t have to
Follow you around
But where else in my day
Is this magic to be found

The time I give you is not free
Nor lacking in return
For every time you look at me
A fire inside does burn

You say I do not have to
Follow you around
Yet all I have to give you
Is time that I have found


My dear,
My darling
As midnight closes in
Gentle snoring fills the room
Warmth fills my heart for you
To think back over the days
Nights we have shared
Just a few short years
I feel as though
I have lived a lifetime
In your arms
My heart beats for another
Moment with you
A calm peacefull surrender falls
Over my mind
Knowing, should I not see another Sunrise
I have finally and
Truly been loved
By you
A Lifetime of longing erased
By one soul
A companionship
I had only dreamed



He held her heart but a moment in time

His light danced in her soul

A spark that lit a fire in the depths of her mind

Separated by young lives

Spiraling in directions unknown

Leaving a longing

A desperate search for another light

Another spark

Fuel for a fire long untended

Barely an ember in a pit of despair

Long years passed

Hope dampened by unkind hands

Until a new light shined

Through a veil of bitter disappointment

Another fire ignited

His light didn’t dance and flicker

It shone bright and true

Stable in the very heart of her spirit

Renewing hope

Once again she feeds her fire

A rekindled brightness equal to his

Together for eternity in this moment


No Excuse

You think she makes excuses

But you are the one who asked

Can you see her usefulness

It is the only way to last

She is not the same as you

That is what unique means

Within such harsh judgement

Can she be truly from your dream

If there is not acceptance

Eventually your mind will scream

Bitterness will become

Just an ugly scene

If you can not love her

For who she is right now

Release her from your misery

No need to tear her down

If you try to change her

Her love you will lose

Let her go with dignity

Please don’t make her choose

With all the love within her

She had already chosen you


It’s Okay

It’s okay to be uncomfortable,

Any emotion, any pain.

It’s okay,


Discomfort brings change,

We would otherwise avoid.

Time does heal,

Stay in the moment.

Don’t get stuck,

Continue the path.

No need to hide,

Show your light no matter the color.

Accepting you,

At every heartbeat.

You may not always be graceful,

May you always be filled with grace.

Change starts inside,

Brave is giving up the fight.

It’s okay to be uncomfortable,

Let go and hold on tight.



Our desires, hate and greed,

A desperation to fill our needs,

Flaws of character that deceive,

Fill us with false security,

Overwhelming perseverance,

To save ourselves all appearance,

Any weakness we discover,

Must be hidden, not uncovered,

What used to be grand traits you see,

Are now considered a fallacy,

Compassion, trust and loyalty,

Have become our enemy,

Fear of loosing what we have,

Of becoming what we perceive as bad,

Close your eyes so you don’t see,

The pain of anothers reality,

Blind yourself with rage and shame,

Forget that others feel the same,

Do not lend, give or take,

Or their life may be your fate,

In this world there can never be,

Any real equality,

As long as we choose not to see,

Anothers true humanity,

Suffering will be the way,

For all of us,

The pain will stay.



I have words to explain

Judge and define

Create beautiful images

In the mind

Ugly words

That hurt and degrade

A few simple words

Brighten a day

When it comes to him

Words I’m denied

Too many feelings

Wrapped up inside

So many words

On the tip of my tongue

I find them inadequate

For expressing my love

So I say nothing

The silence just grows

I pray with my actions

My love I have shown


No Small Healing

Hope: a feeling of expectation and desire for something to happen
aspiration, wish, goal

Faith: complete trust or confidence in someone or something
strong belief in god or spiritual doctrine

What do these words mean to me? These words saved my life. I know this is a strong statement. I believe it is the truth for me. I’m not talking about magical thinking. I’m not talking about religion. I’m talking about strength, and the desire to not just exist but to live. To take some control of my mind and heart.

I no longer wanted to be other people’s punching bag. I no longer wanted to live my life based on the judgments and narrow-minded expectations of others. I needed to feel whole, validated. I needed to accept my own truth and experience. I could no longer look to others for acceptance and happiness. I needed to find these thing in my own mind and soul.

A long time ago someone said to me you can’t judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree. I understood fundamentally that fish were not made to climb trees. I know that fish are made to swim. But I had a hard time applying that knowledge to my own life. See, I had been told my whole life that I wasn’t good enough because I was flawed in some way or another. Because I didn’t try hard enough. I was compared to those around me and I couldn’t measure up. I felt constantly like I had failed at being human.

I now understand that the only thing I was failing at was trying to be something other than what I am. I was trying to be something that others wanted. Because I had a deep need to be wanted. To feel loved and be accepted. We all have these needs. They are a normal part of being human. What I didn’t know was that if I could not accept who I was I would always be that fish failing at climbing the tree. I was living against my own nature.

The Line